I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
