i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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