Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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