Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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