No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
