we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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