Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
