five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
