Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
