So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
