Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
