All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
