We won't sleep together?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
