That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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