Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
