Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
