Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
