had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
