No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
