i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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