didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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