i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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