clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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