Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
