Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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