i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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