Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
