Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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