You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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