Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
