Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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