I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
