Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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