i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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