the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
