I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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