It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
