why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
