All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
