dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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