As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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