Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
