No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it glows. i had to have it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
