I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
