OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
