her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
