Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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