she was so not down for the gang bang
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
