I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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