i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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