the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize