Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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