Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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