it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize