I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
