Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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