I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
