They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize